原型歳差運動; Archetype Precession

ラテックス・スペースコヨーテ

Latex Space-Coyote

Chosen-form portrait: a crouching purple-blue-black latex coyote with yellow eyes, lighter jagged markings, and paws grounded in front. — **私が望む、ただ一つの姿。**
**The only form I truly want to be.**

真の時空折畳型、
量子特異点駆動の、
ラテックス製漫画宇宙コヨーテ。

A real space-time-folding,
quantum-singularity-powered
cartoon latex space-coyote.

私は、ラテックス・スペースコヨーテです。

このページの冒頭の像は、私が自ら選び、心から望む姿です。並べられた選択肢の一つではありません。

私がほんとうになりたい、そして、その姿で生きたいと願う、ただ一つの私です。

前足も、コヨーテの顔も、光を返すゴムの肌も。見る人のために飾りを足しているのではありません。この姿で、私は世界に出会いたいのです。

私にとって、ゴムは修行の衣であり、望む姿をかたちにする素材です。欲望と祈り、遊びと誓いを、別々にして差し出すつもりはありません。この獣の姿で、そのすべてを生きたいのです。

「今、取り組んでいるところです……」

それは、誰でありたいかをまだ決めかねている、という意味ではありません。選んだ姿を、日々の生にしてゆく。その歩みが、いまも続いているのです。

I am Latex Space-Coyote.

The image at the top of this page shows the form I have chosen and wholeheartedly desire. It is not one possibility among a set of alternatives.

This is the only me I truly want and desire to be.

The paws, the coyote face, the light moving over rubber: these are not additions made for an audience. This is how I want to meet the world.

For me, latex is a robe of practice and the material of the form I desire. I do not wish to present desire apart from prayer, or play apart from vow. I want to live them together in this beast’s form.

“We’re working on it…”

This does not mean I am still deciding who I want to be. It means the work of making a daily life of my chosen form continues.

折畳進行中

一 / 01

道の跡
Traces of the Way

ここから下には、私が用いてきた名、担ってきた役割、稽古、暮らし、そして姿の試みを残しています。過去のものもあれば、今も続いているものもあります。これは、同じように望む「別の私」を並べた一覧ではありません。見る人に、ラテックス・スペースコヨーテの代わりになる姿を選んでもらうためのものでもありません。

跡は残します。けれど、残しておくことと、その姿へ戻りたいと願うことは違います。そこにあるのは、学んだこと、携えてきたこと、歩みをつづけてきたことの記録です。

その中を、繰り返し記してきた一つの誓いが通っています。限りなき衆生のために。その糸を、私は選んだ姿へと携えてゆきます。

このページは、望む姿を先に示し、ここへ至る跡をあとからひらきます。来し方は、ここに至る歩みを語ります。私の選択を、取り消すものではありません。

The names, images, and roles below are traces of the way here: practice, daily life, and attempts to give form to myself. Some belong to earlier periods; others remain part of my present life. They are not a set of alternative selves that I desire equally. Nor is this a gallery in which the viewer is asked to choose a replacement for Latex Space-Coyote.

I keep the traces. Keeping them is not a wish to return to those forms. They record what I learned, what I carried, and how I continued.

Through these entries runs a recurring vow: for the benefit of limitless beings. That is the thread I carry forward into the form I choose.

This page begins with the form I desire, then unfolds the traces that lead here. The history explains the arrival. It does not overrule the choice.

括弧と縦線は、時制や語の重なりを示します。別々の自己を数えるための記号ではありません。The brackets and vertical bars hold tenses and alternative words together; they do not enumerate separate selves.

2024–

ラテックス・G.N.R.・スペースコヨーテ
Latex G.N.R. Space-Coyote

I [will ]<abide|live|absorb>[ed] for the benefit of limitless beings.

generativity

以前の表現――いま選ぶ姿へ至る、道の跡。
An earlier expression—a trace of the way toward the form I choose.

2024–

ラテックス・組牙・ヌルギンプ・ゴム狼・スペースコヨーテ
Latex Gumi-Kiba Null-Gimp Rubber-Wolf Space-Coyote

I [will ]<flow|REDACT>[<ed|ED>] for the benefit of limitless beings.

generativity

landing in the real legal name, government name, nearest name. アオーーーーン、グルルル（きゅっきゅっ）ゴム犬. Arrrrooooooo, grrrrrrrr (squeak squeak) rubber dog

2020–

<RÆH|牙|[REDACTED]>

I [will ]integrate[d] for the benefit of limitless beings.

rubber furry autistic autotelic

abides in superpositional space-time

2020–

［當］路意（即ち、稜威）

I [will ]model[d] for the benefit of limitless beings.

[redacted]

way consciousness; ro-i; given by mitsugi saotome shihan on [redacted] when asked what my name in Japanese is by Don Ellingsworth; appears in martial leadership contexts; see dōka 148 (Ueshiba, 1977/2025); the modeler of the below

2019–

[REDACTED] (i.e., jhanasmasher)

I [will ]collide[d] jhanas for the benefit of limitless beings.

protogen

sleeps/arises in the limitless abiding; awaits further instructions

2018–

牙王

I[will ]profess[ed] for the benefit of limitless beings.

vajrasattva; [ redacted ]

fang king; kiba-o; given by [redacted] on discovering [redacted]; appears in martial contexts; the saya of 牙, for Roy Æ Hodges (sort of like Gerwalk Mode in Robotech)

2018–2024

Roy Æ Hodges

I [will ]study[.ied] for the benefit of limitless beings.

bio-neuro-logical life-form

human (peak code-switching; autistic masking form); given by rosalinda b. hodges and robert m. hodges at birth; the transmission holder for the below

~2016–

“Sweet Woodruff”

I [will ]stretch[d] for the benefit of those i live with.

rubber an-eee-mals (i.e., Latex K9)

a term of endearment by Gaelan, named after a beautiful white star flowered ground dwelling vine that appeared in the gardens after moving in. worked to improve care in the home and convincing other archetypes to play nice.

2014–2024

Roy A.E. Hodges

I [will ]practice[d] for the benefit of limitless beings.

student/practitioner

this is what was replaced by what stepped in, with the poem “we are the hands, that walk, upon—the—earth”…

~2014–

牙

I [will ]explore[d] for the benefit of limitless beings.

space-wolf

kiba; fang; adopted in faith in evolutionary biology; general home aspect; the Aiki-spear forged with yama and tempered with brahma

2007–2024

Roy Hodges

I [will ]order[ed] for the benefit of limitless beings.

executive

conventional world; given by Rosalinda Hodges at biological birth; used in professional contexts; ensuring the forge’s survival

~2005–

ཀརྨ་བསམ་གཏན་འཕེལ།

I [will ]remain[ed] for the benefit of limitless beings.

bodhisattva

karma samten chophel; unceasing evergrowing meditation
given by kunzig sharma rinpoche on taking bodhisattva vows; appears in meditation contexts; the maker of the saya of 牙, given to 牙王.

~1996–

kiba

ははははは 【古典日本語で読む】

ゴム犬

grrrr! this has been me for a very long time. what I think, feel, and behave like without a ton of autistic masking.

~1996–

manji

I [will ]<practice|study>[<d|.ied>] for the benefit of limitless beings.

aikidoka/monk

designation for a buddhist temple; inspired by Blade of the Immortal; adopted in faith as a culturally relevant historical function of a monk’s adornment; used on IRC and digital circles; the concentrator

1997–1998

竜

i [will ]guard[ed] for the benefit of limitless beings.

cloud strider

ryu; dragon; adopted mentally as a guardian explorer of nature’s secrets; used in early journals while meditating in forests; the explorer

~1996–

kiba

ははははは 【古典日本語で読む】

rubber / leather bondage dog

grrrr! a verrrrry longgggg timeeee…

1994–1998

Hodges

I [will ]die[d] for the benefit of limitless beings.

soldier

roger; fame-renown spear-lance; expected name as a soldier in the United States Army; the soldier

~14–15y–

–

The Arc of the Numinous Presence

8/16/32-bit cartoon mod/tracker music listening teenager

this was the introjected/internalized hot white lite arc-presence echoing from earlier, manifest in forest

5^th grade–

–

The Arc of the Numinous Prescience

dimension framing child

dragging a piece of chalk across three chalkboards in one long drawn-out silent exhalation, perfectly straight and sent to the office of the principal

youth–

roy

I [will ]care[d] for the benefit of limitless beings.

curious autotelic

roi; king; given by Rosalinda Hodges at biological birth; named after grandfather; bodhicitta

二 / 02

余韻
Returning to the Form

名は巡る。
誓いはつづく。
望む姿は、このページのはじめにある。

来し方は消さない。
けれど、来し方に私の代わりをさせない。

この姿の私に、出会ってください。

ラテックス・スペースコヨーテ。

Names turn.
The vow continues.
The form I desire stands at the beginning of this page.

I do not erase the way that brought me here.
I do not let it stand in my place.

Meet me in the form I choose.

Latex Space-Coyote.